What’s freaky about Rayman? Everything! With the upcoming slap-em-up reimagining/remake/redo/revamp/resomething, wanted to take a look at Rayman 2: The Great Escape as a potential Retro Review. But when I started playing, I knew it was strictly Freaky Friday territory. Hit the jump for the top eight weirdest characters in the series.
#8 Gorilla Pirate
It’s a gorilla robot pirate. Nuff said. (plus it’s adorable)
#7 Teensies
Their heads are Q-Tip tops with eyes. These bastards are so annoying! They all claim to be the king until they has some bad news to share, then they all clam up. Gotta love the regal purple and green robes though. The gold trim is really working for me. +2 for fashion sense.
#6 Admiral Razorbeard
Speaking of fashion, talk about a trainwreck! The only person who can pull off puffy pants is Mallow from Super Mario RPG (whoops, not supposed to mention Nintendo. Bad Alex!). Buckle shoes are for pilgrims, not pirates. And the tall hat contrasted with the wide pants makes his figure resemble a horrible vase that your aunt picked up from a rummage sale at the elementary school.
#5 Globox
The first thing Globox does is pull out some magic he hid in his stomach. Ish Kabibble, I would not want to let that magic swirl around me. The hugeness of Globox is really highlighted by the tiny muppet eyes on top. Do you know this guy has over six hundred fifty kids! Damn, playas gonna play.
#4 Regular Robot Pirate
Holy crap is this guy scary! If you thought a human pirate was bad, add the cow catcher from a train and an energy cannon. While not that tough in the game, they are a bit of a pain in the ass. You have to strafe everywhere to avoid being shot. I may have nightmares about the robot pirate tonight. Hopefully I’ll also dream a team of sled dogs that will save me. Thanks sled dogs!
#3 Rayman
I used to think that Rayman was held together from some sort of gravity or magnetism from the center part of his body. Then I put my controller down and his idle stance was bouncing his chest like a basketball and spinning it on his finger. My whole world crumbled. I checked myself into a rehab facility but was laughed out during the sharing circle when I told everyone why I was there. Now I smoke rocks. That’ll show em.
#2 Zombie Chicken
Ok, wtf. These ghouls were born from undead eggs. Talk about a horrible tasting omelette (HAY OH!!!!!). Flying around with their rib cages exposed is no bueno man. They look confused, but if I floated around in a tattered shirt, not quite dead and not quite alive, I would be too.
#1 Murfy
Umm…this thing is disgusting. Fever blisters on the hands, the 50 mile molester stare, and that smile. That horrible, horrible smile. Wait a second, is he wearing the same outfit as the Teensies? HE IS!!! What a copy cat. They must have had a bulk sale at Herberger’s or something. God, what’s he pointing at? It must be something creepy. “Hey, look over here! Its a dead cat!” Why does he have to be the one to give me advice? I’d rather listen to Globox. And in the game he has a low tone of voice and is cackling. No Murfy, I don’t want to go in your windowless van. And why can’t you spell your name right. At least this separates him from everyone’s dogs. Half of the dogs I’ve met are named Murphy. I adopted a dog named Murphy. Let’s close out with a picture of the best Murphy to cleanse our minds of that repulsive fly.
Now that’s a sagely Murphy!
Who do you think is freakiest character from Rayman? How cute is Murphy? Let us know in the comments below.
What? No. Most of what you’ve described as freaky is actually just charming, or funny. None of it is scary, unless you’re 9. Any chance you’re actually gonna review the game? It deserves it 😉
Huh, I understand where you are coming from. I personally didn’t get the chance to play this game, but I did get the chance to play the first game, and I have to say the first is no where near as creepy as the second
What’s this about a new one? The only Rayman I have been playing lately is Raving Rabbids, which was awesome times ten. I also had the handheld one on my N-Gage, which was incredible as well.
Yes, I said N-Gage. For anyone not aware of it, Sega put one of their best games in years on the N-Gage and you stuck up snobs were too mean to buy one. Whenever Sega “fans” are talking about their favorite rare, out of the way favorite Sega game I’m all like “didn’t you love Pocket Kingdom!” and they’re like “what’s a pocket Kingdom?” It’s incredible, that’s what it is. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pocket_Kingdom
You all should have bought an N-Gage. Monkey Ball, Sonic, Pocket Kingdom, Puyo Puyo. Sega was well represented.
Rayman 2 was one of my favorite Dreamcast games. A lot better than the original!
Never played this one, but the first game got a lot play from me and my lady back in the day. Of all the 32-bit games, it really holds up well because of the still-beautiful-today hand drawn sprites. The control was really tight, the sound design was pretty memorable and best of all the variety of attacks and challenges in each level really kept the game interesting.
On a side note – how do you add an avatar for website posts. I have one on the forum, but can’t seem to find a way to add one here on the dashboard. Any tips?