Well it’s Sunday again and you know what that means. It’s time for Take Cover! This week I go back to doing what I do best, talking about how much these covers suck. Today I bring you 10 of the worst Genesis covers. If you think you’re ready for this jelly, hit the jump and see the 10 Worst Genesis Covers!
10. Boogerman
I was never into gross out humor. Things like Garbage pail kids have just never interested me. So when I see things like this my eyes roll. This whole concept of a boogerman seems like it was created just to interest 8 year old boys. Are those green things supposed to be boogers? This is just gross.
9. Dashin’ Desperadoes
What were they thinking when they went with this? The guy on the right has the most terrifying look on his face. If i saw him on the street I would fear for my life. This is tip toeing the line of uncanny valley and it creeps me out.
8. ESWAT
The grid pattern and the terrible art makes this look like a Master System cover. I feel bad for the guy, he is only half robot. How lame is that? If you’re going to be a little robot, you may as well go full robot.
7. Flashback
What the fuck is this? Is that David Duchovny with a future monocle on? Who is the snake guy in the back as well? This whole thing gives me an X-Files vibe.
6. Funny World / Balloon Boy
This is the only cover I’ve ever seen that can honestly say it has Winnie the Pooh getting shot in the ass. My favorite part is the bear next to him. It looks like he is yelling at the guy who got shot. Why not give him a break huh, he just got shot in the ass. It’s such an odd contrast to go from that, to a shirtless hick with a gun and some balloons. I think I’ve seen that guy on Dateline before.
5. Gunstar Heroes
I just want to start this one by saying that this is probably my favorite Genesis game. So it pains me to put it on the list. But just look at how terrible it is. Why are they wearing those stupid shoulder pads? And who designed those robots? They look too silly to be taken as a threat. Is that Karnov riding a helicopter? Ok that is kind of awesome, but the rest is crap.
4. Haunting
Oh man this shit is goofy. Look at the monsters hair. It looks like he is going to star in House Party 8. That couch is stupid as well. What is so terrifying about a couch with a set of lips? If they wanted people to be afraid of it, they shouldn’t have used such a well taken care of mouth. Each of the people up front have their own stupid face as well. My favorite is the women on the far left, it looks like she has an upside down mushroom for hair.
3. Klax
That just looks painful. I spent a few minutes trying to get my hand to do that and it turns out you can’t. So Klax is a game about a neon pink broken hand? Sweet, sounds like a must have.
2. Columns 3
Who the fuck is that guy? The rest of the cover works well enough for an abstract puzzle game. But then they photoshopped some bald headed random into it and the whole thing went to shit. I don’t understand the thought process behind adding some doofus to this at all. The cover worked just fine without him. There isn’t even a guy in the game!
1. Strider
What happened to Strider in this cover? His sword, purple outfit, dumb wristbands, and that mullet combine into one lame guy. It’s a shame that such an amazing game has such a garbage face to it. I don’t remember the game taking place in a floating Russia either.
That wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. The Genesis had some pretty solid art. Fortunately for you, next week I’ll be doing the 10 worst Saturn covers. And let me tell you, they have some terrible covers.
Don’t forget to check out the Crappy Box Art Thread on the forums which is the official home of Take Cover!
I actually like the E-SWAT cover but Strider; Oh my god! It was so bad to look at that cover that I actually had to look up the Japanese box art on the Mega Drive just to cleanse my eyes.
Robert Duvall as Strider? WTF! I’m surprised Alex Kidd isn’t on this list.
I was going to do some Alex Kidd, but I think I was a bit harsh on him during the Master System edition.