Freaky Fridays: Alien Soldier’s Weirdest Bosses

I’ve been playing a lot of Alien Soldier this week.  Needless to say, I’ve been getting my butt handed to me by this rough game.  What else can you expect from a game developed by Treasure? (btw there are two difficulty settings: Super Easy and Super Hard)  I’ve also come to realize this game has some of the craziest bosses in game history.  Probably because there’s twenty-five of them!  The odds are just greater that some will be insane.  Hit the jump for the top ten weirdest bosses of Alien Soldier.

10. Wolfgunblood Garopa

What’s cooler than a werewolf riding a horse?  How about a werewolf riding a cyborg horse!  And that werewolf has a bandolier!  Wolfgunblood Garopa could get a spot on this list by his name alone, but he went the extra mile with the robot steed, not to mention his gun arm and stylish hat.

9. Sylpheed Force

Ok, Sylpheed Force is one for the books.  One part of a five-part boss, Sylpheed is the weirdest because of its strange body structure.  Is that a butt?  And all the Force bosses are a transformed lady.  What’s the point of this?  Who knows? Don’t even attempt to figure out this game.

8. Sunset Sting

Sunset Sting (great name) is a flower.  Yes, one of the bosses in this game is a flower.  Let that sink in for a moment…ok.  It fights like a flower too, moseying along slow as molasses.  You either have to give the developers credit for making so many unique bosses or can assume they were just running out of ideas.

“Hey Chuck, what should the level 15 boss be?”

Looking around the room, Chuck spots a bouquet of sunflowers on the receptionists desk.

“Uhh…A flower!”

“Ok, let’s go with that.”

7. Epsilion-Eagle

Ok, Epsilion-Eagle is not a boss.  He’s the main character of the game.  The main character is a rooster alien!  Not only that, but it has a tattoo on its arm, “E” The initial of its name.  How vain is this guy?  I really can’t get over the fact that the main hero is a badass chicken.  Weird.

6. Flying-Neo

Now, this boss would not be that weird for Alien Soldier (which is saying a lot), but it has a helicopter blade on its back.  It better be careful where its puts that tail when flying or Neo could lose it.  The general ugliness and strange structure of the creature also doesn’t help it avoid the list.

5. Antroid

Poor Antroid.  He looks like he’s in a lot of pain.  Even though he can jump around and do back flips with the best of them, they must make him quite sick as he’s always throwing up on you.  Poor weirdo ant.

4. Madam Barbar

Now crab creatures have long been standard enemies in video games.  But Madam Barbar makes this list because she’s a Madam aka she runs a prostitution ring of tiny crabs.  I feel bad for the Johns who pay to be spun around by those little creatures.  How could you not get an STD when you’re sleeping with a crab?

3. Joker

Joker is an abortion against nature.  His exposed organs and purple exoskeleton is the stuff of nightmares.  Pair it with warty skin and tiny arms, and you have a plush doll that would ruin more lives than Chucky.

2. Melon Bread

Umm….what?  I guess this guy is half melon and half bread?  Melon Bread makes an appearance from another Treasure game, Gunstar Heroes.  You would think his main weapon would be those sharp teeth, but you’d be wrong.  It’s his nose.  HIS NOSE!!!  Treasure, you are crazy, and that’s why we love you.

1. Sniper Honeyviper

I kinda get the viper part of the name, but not the honey or the sniper.  It shoots one projectile very slowly and always in the same place, not much of a sniper I’d say.  It also spews bugs and creates avalanches with ground pounds.  It’s also THE MOST DISGUSTING THING IN THE GAME!  It looks as if someone tried to sculpt a Jimmy Durante watering pot out of poop and raw meat.  Seriously, what the hell is happening here?  After defeating this boss, I felt as if I put him out of his misery.  Well I guess my good deed is done for the day.

Do you agree with me?  Any weird bosses from this game that should be imcluded?  Let us know in the comments.

PS I’m currently at PAX.  Be jealous forever.