Danica Patrick's car shoots fireballs for some stupid reason

In my years with Sega Addicts, little news has irritated me more than the reveal of Danica Patrick as a playable character in Sega All-Stars Racing Transformed. Though the inclusion is an admittedly minor offense, it confounds me that in the light of the company’s financial woes, certain games are being neglected marketing-wise when ostensibly pricey deals like this are promoted as Sega’s focal point at E3. What the hell does this have to do with Sega?

I suppose it makes sense, then, that Patrick’s special “All-Star Move” is similarly irrelevant to the publisher. In a recent interview with ESPN, the celebrity NASCAR racer and GoDaddy enthusiast revealed her character’s fiery attack,

Every character has special ‘All-Star’ moves, so for mine, I shoot fireballs out from my car, and it sets my opponents’ wheels on fire and disables them for a couple of seconds. Very valuable seconds.

There you have it. She sets her opponents’ wheels on fire. With fireballs. Unless real-life NASCAR is actually way better and more pyro-centric than I ever gave it credit for, this move has no relevance to anything.

I could go on, but I’ve already irritated myself to the point of exhaustion. I’m gonna go lie down.

[Source: ESPN via Sega Harrier, Thanks for the tip, Scott!]

  • Fireballs. That’s the best they could come up with. I know Sega are facing tough times right now, but how am I supposed to take this seriously. I’m still trying to figure out is Nascar is the one where they drive around in circles for hours or if its rally racing.

    SEGA. A LARGE PROPORTION OF YOUR FANS DO NOT KNOW WHAT NASCAR IS. NOR DO THEY CARE MUCH FOR SHOOTING FIREBALLS OUT OF AN OTHERWISE NORMAL CAR. WE HAVE THE BATMOBILE FOR THAT KIND OF THING.

    I hope Sega take my comments to Sumo so we can get this sorted out once and for all, and possibly get the batmobile in the game.

  • Stooball

    They should have done like a line up similar to the Samba line, but with the Pace Car leading the way. You know…something related to Nascar

    [img]http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/27/Safety_Car_with_Felipe_Massa_2006_Brazil.jpg[/img]

  • HAHA Good idea Stooball, That would actually be more cooler than fire balls!

  • 934Texas

    It could’ve been worse.

    Much like the oil slick attack in mario kart, danica’s car could shoot out go daddy ads that plaster across the screen temporarily.

  • Josh Newey

    @934Texas
    Actually, I think your idea would work better than this. At the very least, that idea at least has some relevance to SOMETHING, and while it’s attached to real life and not Sega, it at least tells me that they put a little bit of thought into the character’s design. This fireball thing just comes off as lazy, and proves to me that they don’t give a shit what her character is. She’s just a well known name to shoe-horn in, and that’s it.

  • @934Texas
    You totally stole my joke. But DLC could always update her special move. Or something….

    Why is this happening again?

  • It’s funny how this, being part of Sega’s big E3 reveal, absolutely pales in comparison to the NiGHTS HD news announced on their blog…

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