Sega vs Capcom, Part XXX: Wise From Your Gwave!

 

Now, here’s a hypothetical scenario for you: say you’re the incredibly powerful leader of a race of ancient gods, but your daughter, Athena, who is also a formidable warrior and war strategist, is somehow taken captive by a bald Robert Englund drenched in grape soda.  What do you do?

If you answered “resurrect a centurion (which are Roman, not Greek), pump him full of astral steroids and turn him into a series of crazy half-animals to fight for me and rescue her”, you would be completely insane.  But just insane enough to make one of the best late 80s games to ever grace the arcades: Altered Beast!

 

 

 

So yeah, if you can look past the disturbingly scant speedo, Altered Beast is pretty a amazing game.  But I suppose we can cut Sega a little slack–the ancient Greeks were perfectly happy depicting their heroes and gods totally butt-ass naked, so it could be worse.  Besides, what other game lets you change into half-man, half-animals and tear through monsters?  Okay, I mean besides Wonderboy III.

P.S. it took all of my willpower to pass up the opportunity to make a terrible Vin Diesel joke to coincide with the “XXX” number of this post.  You’re welcome.

 


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